2. Resist the temptation to define or be defined.

2.a. Be comfortable with ambiguity.

Continuing with the list of unsolicited advice I offered to a series of graduating high school kids (the children of friends) this past Summer, I present the above. They are an extension, I think, of the first one (all words have meanings) but expand the line of thinking.

Definition is by definition (ha ha) limiting. In Orwell's 1984 one of the ideas behind Newspeak was to restrict thinking by removing words from the language. You can't think it or articulate it if you don't have words for it was the notion.

I'm not worried about the government here. I'm talking about self-definition, and social definition and cultural definition.

Don't be too ready to ink yourself in. Let yourself develop as you may. Just be, and find out where that takes you. Find out. Discover. Explore. Existence is not black or white. There are endless shades of grey. Ambiguity abounds. Accept that this is the world that we live in.

Now let's be clear. I'm not suggesting you should not have morals or ethics. Far from it. In fact, in a morally and ethically ambiguous world one needs to be grounded. But one must also understand that the actual application of those morals and ethics will be tested on an ambiguous battlefield. We stop and ask ourselves "Did I apply this principle right?" Argh. Let's try again.

What I would suggest to you, young and old alike, is that we should be forgiving of ourselves as we trudge life's path that we will not perfectly pursue our lofty moral and ethical goals. We are not perfect beings, but if we keep our eyes open to our own thoughts and behaviors, steadily pursue our improvement, and commit to being a healthy and cooperative and collaborative member of society then we will have done some good in this life.